Shawn’s Review

                The first thing that pops out at me from Shawn’s article is that it is very practical. The information that he provides in the article is something that is not often thought of. Many Americans I believe have some strange inherent distrust in the weather service that is well warranted to some extent. Shawn’s article does an excellent job of dispelling this feeling much more by showing his readers through a great deal of logos that the weather service is not as inaccurate as most people believe it to be.  There is a very big issue that I have with this paper and that is that it does not have any color. The topic is very engaging at first because everybody wants to know if the weather man really is just a dummy or not, but the paper needs more engaging content as it continues. I found that it became very hard to continue reading this paper because it is a lot of facts and a little bit of commentary on those facts. I would suggest maybe putting a few fun stories about the weather as it pertains to meteorology just to keep the reader interested. The most engaging things in this paper are some of the facts which is obviously a good tool, but the human element is nonexistent and it needs to be fixed to make a more engaging paper. Shawn did a very good job with his grammar and writing for a draft, there were no immediate errors that shot out at me it was. Overall it is a good paper with a strong base and as long as Shawn can find a way to add more color and put in a human element it will an be excellent paper worth reading.

Research Paper Reviews

Kelly’s Review

                I liked Kelly’s topic a lot, she provided insight into many problems with gender the only problem is that I was not sure exactly what she was trying to prove. She does a very good job of pulling in interesting facts about her topic, but the problem is that they do not seem to lead anywhere or go in a single direction. I felt myself questioning what this paper was about a few times and then when I felt as if it was going somewhere it would change direction again. The paper speaks about gender inequality, gendercide, and treatment of the transgendered. I think that if Kelly takes one of these three topics and roles with it the paper could end up making much more sense. A more realistic approach would be to somehow connect all three topics, maybe talking about the three different topics and relating them to how gender discrimination is a huge problem in today’s world and must be stopped. She could even expand on this by saying what is being done at the moment to stop it. Additionally there are some grammar and writing mistakes that should be improved upon before the final draft is turned in. The last thing I would say is that Kelly’s paper needs to have more of an argument from the other side and then she needs to dispute this argument. When talking about male versus female gender discrimination she makes it seem as though males and females pretty much are the same, which is not necessarily true looking from a biological standpoint. She could start by proving that the two sexes are not the same with some biological evidence and empirical studies. From here she could go into how while we may not be the same exactly it is not right to treat women as an inferior race of people.

Annie’s Review

                Annie’s paper was very engaging. She had a solid introduction with a good deal of imagery that had me wondering what her paper was going to be about until the very last sentence when I got a pretty good idea. The topic is an interesting one because of the fact that many people want to know about lucid dreaming and how to do it. There is a good balance between information and personal experience. One section seems a bit out of place the part about the medicine Galantamine. The paper goes into this, but it feels like it should not be there unless there is going to be more done with it. Also it says that she plans to do use it if all else fails and she did not mention it again. She also contradicted herself at this point because she said that she will not pay for it, but then a few sentences later says that she will get it if needed. In all honesty the paragraph about the Galantamine seems out of place from the rest of the paper. It is definitely related, but it does not feel like the Galantamine should be there. Another thing that I liked about this paper is that when Annie could not lucid dream herself she found a primary source of someone that has. She talked to her friend who used to have lucid dreams, but eventually stopped as she got older. I think this is a chance to expand a little bit, maybe do a little bit of research on if it is more likely for children to lucid dream than it is for adults and so on.  All in all it is a very good paper the topic is interesting, it is well written, it is engaging and at the same time well researched.